So, do you want to hear a funny joke? It’s about a guy who used to play for Toronto, whose production began trailing off a while ago by the looks of his stats, who was traded to Boston to try and bolster our lineup for the 2011 playoffs (not to the desired results), who got himself a day with the Cup and his ring even though by then he was with Carolina, who hadn’t been doing so well with a team that keeps languishing near the bottom of the standings and so now he is playing for…wait for it…MONTREAL. Enemy of Toronto AND Boston. Oh, this is no joke, friends, this is Tomas Kaberle.
Kaberle has been bouncing around like a particularly uncontrollable puck. He had a $12.75 million contract for three years with Carolina, where I guess they decided not to watch the playoffs once they missed them by only a few points. If they had done so, they would’ve seen that, yeah, Kaberle got 11 assists in Boston’s playoff run, but uh, that was it.
But as of today, he’s going to become a Hab. How mad are his new teammates going to be if he decides to, oh, I don’t know, swan into the dressing room wearing his Stanley Cup ring? It might be the most effective thing he’s done in a while.
But, real talk: Kaberle’s not very good by any means. Even playing with his brother’s old team in Raleigh hasn’t really sparked his juices–he’s a -12 on a team that hasn’t had much moxie this year. (Moxie is a fun word.) I don’t know what Montreal is thinking with this. Their blueliners aren’t doing so hot in scoring, so when they’re looking to spice up their d-men…hey, Kaberle’s available! Fantastic thought process.
PS: There are currently 10,000 Kaberle Hurricanes bobbleheads that were going to be given out in March. Are they maybe going to bury them in the desert like copies of that crappy old E.T. video game?